in memory of Linus...

[ratcreature]

Linus
18.9.2009 - 24.4.2011

Linus was euthanized this morning. I brought him in during emergency opening hours, merely expecting that the wound needed to be cleaned and closed again, but when the vet opened the wound under anesthesia it turned out Linus had mangled things by opening it and the licking, and the infection had spread into his belly and also into his penis. The vet said it was impossible to clean and remove completely because they couldn't remove the penis, and that merely antibiotics would have no chance, and that therefore he had no chance at all to survive this. So the vet had called me to the room, where they did the wound care, showed me the belly wound that was open then from cleaning and how bad it was, and asked me to have him put down right away, because the alternative was slow death from the lower belly infection.

So I agreed to that, even though it was a horrible shock, and I didn't even had time or opportunity to say goodbye to Linus while he was awake, because I had thought the anesthesia was just for wound care, so I hadn't cuddled with him or anything. Normally I know in advance when I bring in a rat to be euthanized, and I can say goodbye and cuddle with them at home before, and then I stay when they put them under and pet them so that they are not alone and afraid, but I didn't know. And when I came in he was already unconscious (and horrible looking too, with the open belly and some blood from the cleaning), and he didn't know that I was there when he died. He didn't deserve to die like this. I wish I had noticed the abscess earlier, maybe then it wouldn't have gotten so bad. I still can't believe that he's gone so suddenly, and so soon, that he isn't here anymore. He was only one and a half.

He was a great rat. He had such a nice character, which he showed even today, when he was scared and in pain. When the vet examined him, she held him up and pressed the wound, which of course hurt, but he did not snap at her, he merely started to lick her hand on the finger he could reach, trying to placate through grooming and being friendly, so that the vet commented on how affectionate he was. That was just the kind of rat he was, that he was trying to win over the vet by being extra nice.

He was a funny looking rat, with his tail too short, because the tip got injured when he was just a tiny pup before he even came to me, but since it had been shorter his whole mobile life, he wasn't bothered by it when climbing, balancing or jumping. He lived with me since he was six weeks old, and I knew he'd come to me and had seen photos even earlier. He's been with me every day since then, and has been as good a companion rat as you could wish for: friendly, playful, eager to come to me to be petted, and of course also to beg for food. He'd follow me around the room when I got up while he was outside, so that I had to be careful not to step on him. Until this week he had been very healthy too, and hadn't even needed any vet visits.

Comments

[giandujakiss]

I'm so sorry.

[ratcreature]

Thanks.

[bayleaf]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It is painful to lose a pet under any circumstances, but so much harder when you don't have time to prepare for it. {{hugs}}

[ratcreature]

Thank you.

It was definitely the worst experience of having to put a pet down that I've had so far. It's different when they've suffered for a while and you know it's coming. Even with the wound as it was today he still seemed mostly okay, was eating and moving around. But the vet said that that didn't matter, and of course I didn't want him to die slowly and in pain from an untreatable infection in his belly and groin. I still can't really believe that he's not here anymore for me to cuddle. :(

[kass]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[ratcreature]

Thanks.

[shadowvalkyrie]

I'm sorry! *hugs you*

[ratcreature]

Thanks. *hugs back*

[reginagiraffe]

Oh, sweetie, I'm so very sorry.

*hugs*

[ratcreature]

Thank you. *hugs back*

[calime]

I'm sorry for your loss..rats are amazing sweet creatures.

[ratcreature]

Thank you.

I really enjoy them as pets, despite the repeated heartbreak that comes from their usually short lives. They make up for that with their friendly and social personalities.

[saraht]

I'm sorry about your pet.

[ratcreature]

Thank you.

[cofax7]

I'm sorry: losing a pet is always awful.

[ratcreature]

Yeah, it really is. :(

[odditycollector]

Oh, I'm so sorry.

[ratcreature]

Thank you.

[less_star]

I'm sorry! *hugs*

[ratcreature]

Thank you. *hugs back*

[brownbetty]

I'm sorry to hear this. I'm really sorry that the goodbye was not the way you would have wanted.

[ratcreature]

Thank you. It was just so awful, and such a quick switch, from me thinking he could be helped, and would be okay, just a delay in the recovery, to suddenly being called to have him put down, and then seeing him like that, already unconscious, and no time for anything.

[yvi]

I'm so sorry. He sounds and looks like a wonderful rat.

*hugs*

[ratcreature]

Thank you.

[astridv]

I'm so sorry.

[ratcreature]

Thank you.

[marcelo]

*hugs* I'm sorry.

[ratcreature]

Thank you. *hugs back*

[bluemeridian]

I'm sniffling, too. What a shock! All the troubles with Leo and to have it be Linus-! He was such an adorable pup in his younger pictures, and I think it's always a wee bit harder when they're the snuggly type and you suddenly don't have them there anymore. *hugs*

[ratcreature]

Thank you.

And yeah, it really was a shock that he died so suddenly. Thankfully Leo is still doing fairly good, he's eating and active in playtime, even jumping and scuffling, despite that his breathing sounds so dreadful. I guess this just shows that nobody can know what will get you or when.

[cathexys]

I am so so sorry! Thanks for the pictures and your sweet words about him. I especially like the last one :)

{{{hugs}}}

[ratcreature]

Thank you. Assembling the pictures helps a little not to just remember him as I saw him last, with that horrible wound on the table...

[lanning]

Aw, hon. I'm so sorry you've lost him. He looks like such a sweet rattie. *hugs*

[ratcreature]

Thank you. He really was a sweet rat.

[lilacsigil]

Oh, I'm so sorry that you lost Linus so quickly, without time to say goodbye properly. But I'm glad he had a good life with you.

[ratcreature]

Thank you.

[vito_excalibur]

I am so sorry. Poor little guy. I hope you are doing okay.

[ratcreature]

Thank you. I'm mostly alright, just miss him a lot right now.

[telesilla]

*hugs* I'm so sorry.

[ratcreature]

Thank you. *hugs back*

[rheanna]

I'm sorry. {{{}}}

[ratcreature]

Thank you.

[devildoll]

Oh, I'm so sorry that it happened that way. It's always hard enough to put a pet down, but then to not be prepared or have a chance to say goodbye, that makes it even worse.

[ratcreature]

Yeah, it felt even more horrible than usual, to have him put down this way. Also I suspect a bunch of people on public transport must have thought me crazy, because I was just sobbing all the way from the vet to my brother's place where I buried Linus in the garden. I mean, usually I'm more composed afterwards, because I expect what's coming, so I won't act odd in public, but this time it was just fifteen minutes or so since I had to make the decision that I was on the bus. (I couldn't even hang around the vet for a bit to calm down, because it was their short holiday emergency hours.)

[marag.livejournal.com]

::hugs:: I'm very sorry to hear that :(

[ratcreature]

Thanks. I was just really awful and sudden. Even with the wound as it was this morning he still seemed mostly okay, was eating and moving around, but the vet said that that didn't matter, that he was going to die of that infection.

[chloes-mom.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry!! Give extra love to your other kids.
Lori

[ratcreature]

Thanks. I definitely need some extra cuddles from my remaining two tonight.

[flykat.livejournal.com]

wow I was so rooting for Linus, this was def unexpected.
so sorry to hear of your loss :(

and it was a pretty hooded rattie ^.^

[ratcreature]

Thank you.

It's been harder to make that euthanasia decision when there wasn't a long illness before. But my vet practice isn't one to give up too easily (as some do with small rodents), so I have to believe that at this point of the infection there was really no chance for him to recover. :(