sort of a kink poll...

[ratcreature]

I've been reading a slash story in which a heated argument between the couple (who are also friends) results in punch being thrown, and then the one punched actually finds the aggression a turn on and it goes on to sex. Somehow this combination of sex and violence doesn't work for me at all, not even in fiction, where I'm not averse to combinations of sex and violence.

Like, I can go along fine if the aggression is against some kind of third party, and one character is turned on by the other being violent, or they are turned on mutually, say if they are both in a barfight or even slaughter others. I can also go along with non-con that involves violence with the victim not being turned on, but I as a reader like it. But if the violence is between the couple (and they are supposed to like each other), uncontrolled violence segueing into sex (rather than say rough sex that is mutually agreed upon) is squicky for me, more so if the violence is not mutual (the latter would be more fighting leading to fucking in some kind of hate sex, which I also don't like, but it is not as bad as one sided violence).

Most often this is shown from the POV of the character the aggression is turned upon rather than the violent character being turned on by the escalation, i.e. A hits B, usually after some provocation, then B somehow finds that aggression/violence (or sometimes the loss of control) hot, and sex follows. I have to admit that I find this particular combination of sex and violence to be surprising as a kink, and it always startles me, but I see this every now and then, and I'm wondering whether it is something that many people like in sex scenes.

So, a poll:

Poll #1787 fictional sex & violence, when are they like hazelnuts and chocolate?

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 130

View Respondents

Which combinations of sex & violence do you like in fiction?

View Answers

none
15 (11.5%)

violence against outsiders is a turn-on for the characters, and followed by sex between them
76 (58.5%)

consensual, planned violence between partners (e.g. agreed upon rough sex, with bruising or hitting)
102 (78.5%)

unplanned, but mutual violence against each other (with both being equally aggressive/violent) then leads to sex
89 (68.5%)

unplanned, violent aggression (e.g. during an escalating argument) of character A against their partner B is a turn-on for B, and then leads to sex
34 (26.2%)

unplanned, violent aggression (e.g. during an escalating argument) of character A against their partner B is a turn-on for A, and then leads to sex
15 (11.5%)

violence with non-con sex
32 (24.6%)

Comments

[affablyevil.livejournal.com]

Right, I definitely agree with your points there. I think also there is a bit of a question of how aware authors are of what they are writing — it's possibly the case that a lot of these authors are writing primarily from fantasy or instinct of what appeals to them, without necessarily being aware of the greater literature/history of it, if that makes any sense. For example sometimes when I read a story I get the feeling that for some authors maybe they read a scene in a book or saw something in a movie or whatever that appealed to them intuitively without being able to quite pinpoint why, and then they produce a scene in a fic that feels like an imitation of something else.

I'm not in any way trying to imply that people who write scenes like the one you had trouble with are immature writers/just copying something else/don't have a lot of sexual experience or whatever. But there's definitely a difference of quality I think by authors who can write a disclaimer about employing proper d/s consent and such and can talk comprehensively about scene lifestyle, sadism and whatnot, and authors whose experience in that area stems primarily from their own fantasies.

And sometimes authors are just working out their own sexual ideologies or whatever. What the hell do I know. I feel no guilt about hitting the X button to get out of a story that's taken a wrong turn down a dirty back alley that I don't trust an author's sense of direction to get us through.