GIP (well almost)

This icon was inspired by rhiannonhero's cool "super navel-gazing" one. Actually I've seen a couple of navel-gazing icons and wanted one too. Maybe I should have gotten a lemming one, but then besides those old computer game lemmings I have no idea what a lemming actually looks like or whether I could make my cartoony avatar look like one, unless she'd jump from a cliff with a group of them or something like that...

Anyway, the reason I wanted a navel-gazing one just now, were all those "friending policy manifestos" that I've seen recently and the discussion in bethbethbeth's LJ.

The thing I've noticed is that lots of people think that the name "friends list" is unfortunate and that "reading list" or something like that would be better, and that the whole "friending"/"unfriending" process would be less loaded with additional layers of meaning beyond the reading of someone's LJ. And I actually don't think that. It's not that I think the term "friends list" is really great, but "reading list" doesn't reflect all functions either, since that ignores the whole "friends can read your locked entries" aspect of the list (that it has for many if not most people who don't bother with elaborate filter set-ups, not to mention that for those with elaborate filters the "regular reading list" might be quite different from the "friends list"), but more importantly, calling it "reading list" doesn't make the process of putting someone on that list or removing someone from it any less about "liking" or "popularity" or "personal."

I mean, in all the discussion about feedback for fanfic writing a lot of people admit that it takes some effort not to take "negative" feedback personally, and almost everybody seems happy to receive positive feedback. And adding or removing someone from a "reading list" can't avoid being that kind of feedback, at least if the authors can see who put them on their reading lists. The only way to avoid that is not to use the friends feature but a news reader and utilize the LJ RSS feeds that exist for every LJ (except in the rare cases the RSS is broken for some reason). Obviously it's also an option to go to the pages directly, but that would defeat the convenience of the "friends list." It's not like anybody had to use the LJ friends feature just to have all journals they check daily on one page. I guess a lot people who, like me, also read journals from other sites (like journalfen, blurty, deadjournal etc.) as well as blogs that have a feed use such an RSS application anyway to keep track of their reading.

I guess, I'm saying that announcing to someone that they are on your regular reading list still has the potential for all sorts of complications, and not calling it "friending" doesn't make those go away. Those "personal" complications only go away by really "lurking" and if someone wants that, there's a lot of uncomplicated technology out there that avoids all the "hassles" but keeps the "convenience" of the "LJ friends page." But on the upside the instant "low-level feedback" of telling someone that they are on the regular reading list is also a way to make the appreciation for the blogging visible, sort of like linking back to other blogs in your sidebar.