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horrible, recursive nightmare
Apr. 17th, 2009 02:00 pmAs background info you have to know that one of my recurring nightmare elements is my teeth crumbling and falling out. It usually appears as part of other dreams and slowly gets worse, but happens so often that whenever it gets bad enough, i.e. more than one tooth breaking and crumbling, I become aware in a dream that it is a dream because I recognize the "symptom" and try to wake up.
Anyway, the dream as far as I remember actually starts with me having just woken from a dream in which my teeth crumbled as part of it and I remember that dream within the dream. What I recall from the dream within the dream was that it took place in feudal Japan, something with Samurai and war anyway. Maybe fantasy Japan. So I "wake up" from this dream within this dream, and my whole family is there. I think I'm still a teenager, in any case my mother is still alive. Shortly into it I notice that my teeth are still crumbling, even though I'm not in the Samurai dream anymore, so I panic. I realize that this must be a dream too, and talk crazily to my family trying to convince them that this is a dream. They think this is real and that I need to get my teeth fixed.
Meanwhile the teeth crumbling gets worse and worse, yet I won't wake up. My plan now is to fall asleep again, to have a chance to wake up "right". But that doesn't work, I fall asleep to teeth crumbling and wake up in "reality" (the dream one) yet it persists again and again. Though for a little while after each "waking up" it gets better, so I think I'm alright for a little while, only to start again and get worse even faster. So then my plan changes to get back to the Samurai dream specifically. I'm not sure why that was my plan, I think the idea was to backtrack and "reset" so that I could wake out of the dream that was clearly fantasy and started all. So I try to find some historical fiction tv set in Japan to fall asleep to, so my dreams will be like that.
I try to recruit my family to find this kind of thing to watch, but at this point for some reason they don't believe me anymore that I'm me, and show me videos that are supposed to remind me of something? And I'm supposed to answer their question right (I don't remember that part well, but it was also panic inducing, because half my family accused me and the ones still helping me that I was some sort of impostor, there was running around and hiding and fleeing too.) Keep in mind that the teeth crumbling is still going on, resets or not, at this point so bad that I actually don't just spit out broken teeth and fillings and crowns, but these things have morphed into strange, steampunkish medical-mechanical contraptions that break, so I'm spitting out broken metal parts mixed with blood and teeth, still trying to wake up already.
And eventually I do, though it left me disoriented for a while.
Anyway, the dream as far as I remember actually starts with me having just woken from a dream in which my teeth crumbled as part of it and I remember that dream within the dream. What I recall from the dream within the dream was that it took place in feudal Japan, something with Samurai and war anyway. Maybe fantasy Japan. So I "wake up" from this dream within this dream, and my whole family is there. I think I'm still a teenager, in any case my mother is still alive. Shortly into it I notice that my teeth are still crumbling, even though I'm not in the Samurai dream anymore, so I panic. I realize that this must be a dream too, and talk crazily to my family trying to convince them that this is a dream. They think this is real and that I need to get my teeth fixed.
Meanwhile the teeth crumbling gets worse and worse, yet I won't wake up. My plan now is to fall asleep again, to have a chance to wake up "right". But that doesn't work, I fall asleep to teeth crumbling and wake up in "reality" (the dream one) yet it persists again and again. Though for a little while after each "waking up" it gets better, so I think I'm alright for a little while, only to start again and get worse even faster. So then my plan changes to get back to the Samurai dream specifically. I'm not sure why that was my plan, I think the idea was to backtrack and "reset" so that I could wake out of the dream that was clearly fantasy and started all. So I try to find some historical fiction tv set in Japan to fall asleep to, so my dreams will be like that.
I try to recruit my family to find this kind of thing to watch, but at this point for some reason they don't believe me anymore that I'm me, and show me videos that are supposed to remind me of something? And I'm supposed to answer their question right (I don't remember that part well, but it was also panic inducing, because half my family accused me and the ones still helping me that I was some sort of impostor, there was running around and hiding and fleeing too.) Keep in mind that the teeth crumbling is still going on, resets or not, at this point so bad that I actually don't just spit out broken teeth and fillings and crowns, but these things have morphed into strange, steampunkish medical-mechanical contraptions that break, so I'm spitting out broken metal parts mixed with blood and teeth, still trying to wake up already.
And eventually I do, though it left me disoriented for a while.